HaHa, Skeetz, the troll gotcha!
By the way, in case anyone really is interested, pricing on an older Dell with XP has gone up to around $100 - $150. https://www.ebay.com/itm/234301814020 (with legacy serial port DB9)
These older laptops are fine for powering a cutter, especially if you want to use the actual COM port (instead of USB).
And while we are here --- this is the link for older (unsupported) software which has all the functionality required to run cutters and provides basic design capability. http://www.uscuttersupport.com/downloads/Software/SignBlazer/signblazer_setup.exe